I found some funny tweets about farting. Everybody is so weird about farting. Let's talk about it.
#1 Your farts Smell so bad we ain't no longer invading Iraq - we using your shit for oil Tweet
#2 Your farts smell so bad a pig asked you out on a date Tweet
#3 Your farts smell so bad we no longer have nuclear weapons we use your booty - called weapons of ass destruction Tweet
#4 Your farts smell so bad you no longer need to buy gas - you just shit in the gas tank. Tweet
Tweet 1"that akward moment when your driver farts and silently rolls down the windows"
Don't you hate it when someone tattle tells about you. I told him not to say anything. I should've drove his ass to Harlem and dropped him with sign that read white power.
What's a driver to do. You can't get out for hours on end. Im doing you a favor. I should lock my windows next time.
Tweet 2"#Inafricanhouse if your father farts around you, you are forced to stay there and enjoy it with a grin on your face."
I actually think that's not as bad as having to eat vegetables as a kid. I'd trade fart smelling with a bowl of okra any day.
Tweet 3"Success smells like money. Failure smells like a Ford Fiesta filled with Taco Bell farts"
To me there's no better success than a strong fart after some good old Taco Bell.
Tweet 4"I'm thinking of going full disclosure on all future public farts. Just tired of the lies."
That would probably be the worst thing that has ever happened to mankind. Especially when it gets to Twitter. You know that whale that pops up all the time when Twitter is overloaded. That would become Twitter's homepage.
Tweet 5"Farts in class. Blames it on the special ed student"
Why is everyone so mean to special ed kids. What the special ed kid can't talk or something? All he really needs is a fist and your face.
Tweet 6"Things I reallylike wet farts" by Satan
Since when did farts become associated with the devil. It's like you can't get into heaven if you farted.
Child: Mommy were going to heaven.
Heaven: Gates closed motherfcker. You thought all those farts on earth wouldn't be counted against you. We have all 11,545,878 farts 90% of them were the wet ones biyotch.
Mommy: It's ok Timmy. We just have to cross to the other side.
Devil: Ooo wet farts, Bring that motherfucker over here.
Tweet 7"I was chilling eating my food & this old dude just got up & there like 5 farts in a row. I'm so sick right now."
I think the old man has earned his right to fart in public. I think he should go on a fart rampage. He earned that shit.