Grandfather then gives Stan a $6000 bolo tie with a gem claiming that it's worth thousands. Andy says "You shouldn't be spending your retirement money on frivolous things. You should be saving it for when you die. That's our money."
As he's waiting with friends, they try telling him it's cool and Stan sticks up for himself and says that it's worth $6. Eventually, cartmen says, "Dude. It's gay as f*ck"
Then, Stan breaks down. He then looks for a Cash for Gold place to sell it.
Looking for Cash & Gold to sell bolo tie
He finds a place and the guy says he'd give him $15 so they leave and find a cash for gold place right next door. The lady says she'd give him $8. After he says it was worn by King Henry the 5th, she says "ok $9"
They go to a Taco Bell next, he gives it to the cashier and he says he'd give him a 6 layer burrito. Kenny say you don't even have a 6 layer burrito.
Sitting outside the Taco Bell, Stan wonders how his grandfather spent $6k on something not even worth anything.
J&G Shopping Network
They show the host selling gems. He calls them "...86 karat faux. Faux is a French word. It's got an X in it but you don't even pronounce the X. How do you like that for prestigious? These normally go for $6 million dollars but we're gonna sell these today for $320."
He gets a call and a senior citizen who can't remember her name wants to buy it.
"At that price you practically stole it from us."
The gang are watching on their couches and are mad that they can get away with it. Cartmen then says, "We're in a new era of science that only the smartest can comprehend"
He then begins to explain the formula for gold which he describes as:
"Cash for Gold signs gives you people's unwanted crappy jewelry which when added to a cable shopping network divided by demented old people equals GOLD"
Kyle tells Kenny to tell Cartmen to shutup. Kenny calls Cartmen and asshole. Cartmen says, "Oh I'm an asshole for doing MATH?!"
As they're on the couch, Stan's grandpa calls the network. The host asks, "Are you buying this as a gift sir?"
Stan's grandpas says, "No. I'm buying it as a gift." haha.
Then the gang rush to grandpa's house.
Grandpa watches the shopping network
The host is ridiculously funny! And copies those shopping network hosts exactly. He goes on, "Only $1495. You can pay with EZ PAY. THat's E Z P A Y. What? I just got word we're dropping the Z from PAY. It's now just E PAY. We're saving you a second of time."
Stan visits grandpa
Grandpa talks about giving the jewelry and comes to the realization of how much older the kids are getting and talks about not being able to remember what his dog looked like.
Stan makes plan to make money back for grandpa
Cartmen holds "Cash for Gold" signs and buys crappy jewelry off kids at school for $3 and now look for old people to sell it to.
Back on the shopping network, the host sells a tiger's eye to a senior citizen on the phone named Marsha who says she's "lost on the freeway."
Cartmen calls shopping network
Cartmen calls the shopping network calls and says "You should kill yourself... you're the definition of evil." This has to be the funniest segment on the show.
Cartmen and the host go back and forth as he tells him to kill himself. The host responds by saying that he shouldn't push him because if he started blowing out people's brains tonight that he'd be liable for a lawsuit costing millions of dollars. Cartmen says he doesn't care and the host starts negotiating the cost of the lawsuit.
Cartmen hosts his own shopping network
He sells an emerald ring and starts the ring at $8 million dollars he ends up selling for $75.95" He keeps telling the senior citizen that she must like to f**king little kids because that's what she just did by buying the jewelry for so cheap.
The gang then go to gold melting plant and yell at the the manager but he says it's not their fault they just melt it down for the cash 4 gold places.
Stan and the gang then go to the people holding "cash 4 gold" signs and yell at them. They explain that they don't make a lot of money and tell them that the gold is made in India.
They argue over three sayings.
The melters say, "Whoever denied it supplied it."
The cash 4 gold people say, "Whoever smelt it dealt it."
Then some random guy blames India and says, "Whoever made the rhyme did the crime"
Cartmen then goes to Asian jewelry store trying to buy some gems. She then says that he is "f*cking" her because she pays thousands for the jewelry. They go back and forth blaming each other on who is "f*cking" who.
Cartmen then goes to an india plant and says he wants to buy gold and cut out the middle man. Cartmen then runs into the gang.
They show the cycle of how it works:
1. The Indian plant delivers the jewelry to the home shopping networks in the US who sell it to senior citizens at high prices.
2. Senior Citizens give the jewelry as gifts to their grandkids.
3. The grandkids then exchange it for cash from the cash 4 gold places who then strip the jewelry down selling the gems separately and the gold parts to a melting plant.
4. The plants then melt the gold down and ship it to India to create the jewelry and then the Indian kids make the jewelry all over and ship back to the US.
Then the indian kid makes a picture frame and gives it to Stan.
Stan sits with grandpa
Stan tells him what they did and gives grandpa a photo of his old dog that died. Stan wears the bolo tie. The grandpa can't remember it and calls it "gay as f***"
Shopping network host
Stan's grandpa calls in says that he should kill himself. A ton of senior citizens start calling in tell him to kill himself. The host than kills himself.