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White girls kill cute dogs [Episode Recap]
Key and Peele [Season 1 Episode 7]
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Another amazing Key & Peele episode.

Opening Skit


Guys walk out of Key's house shaking hands and stuff. Jordan is the last and they go and try to give each other pounds but end up bumping into each other on each side and then accidentally, Key kisses Jordan on the lips. They both freeze, get mad awkward and Jordan says, "I'm a lefty so..."

Key freezes and just walks away.

Standup


You ever feel like you have to claim your race or ethnic background or show it off or else people will think your fake?

In their standup, they tak about how they argue which one of them is "blacker" Key says he's from Michigan. When asked where, he says he's from Detroit and that "Detroit is back enough for the whole state."



He says the mayor has on his desk the initials "HNIC. Head nigga in charge."

Then Jordan starts grunting saying he's from NYC. But then Key says, "tell the audience where you're from in NYC."

"Manhattan"

"Where in Manhattan"

Jordan whispers, "Upper West Side" which is a predominantly rich white neighborhood.

But then Jordan snaps back, "How are you blacker than me... You drive a Prius. You saw War Horse."

Haha, I don't know anyone who saw War Horse. I don't even think I know a girl who saw War horse.

"Plus you married a white woman" He pauses and then goes, "Actually you win."

This skit was cool because people usually feel compelled to claim their ethnic background or that they have to. I was walking out of the pizzeria the other day and I heard this kid say, "I'm not black. This is just my skin color."

Skit 1: Crazy soul food


This skit was super hilarious. It starts off with Key & Peele dressed in shirt and tie outfits sitting in a diner in an all black neighborhood. They start competing over the food they order.Each time they hear each other's order, they change their order to something more hardcore to appear harder to each other. At one point they don't even know what they're ordering.



And then they just get out of control.

Jordan says, "Ham-hocks."

Key replies, "A Piglet with 4 pounds of grease"

"Bowl of Mosquitos big motherf**kers"

"Sister, could you please hook a brother up with a rusty bucket full of fish heads wrapped in razor wire."

"Donkey teeth. Straight out a donkeys mouth."



Hilarious!!!

It gets nutty until Jordan orders a "human foot" Key gets crazy nervous and basically submits.

The black hostess says, "You want a human foot? I have one question for you."

They get nervous and worry that she'll call them out on their stupidity. But instead she goes, "You want gravy on that..." Key plays it off and says that of course they want gravy, "gravy on everything."

In the next shot, they're shown holding the food and then begin hurling.



Skit 2: Guy gets every girl


Guys are so competitive. You know that annoying guy who tries to make believe he can get with every girl. This skit pokes fun at that guy and plays into our inner insecurity of losing a girl or having another guy take our girl.

Key & Peele are in a club dressed up with some funky silk club shorts and Key spots a girl. Key says she's hot and then Jordan is like, "she's just ok."

He says he's going to go to the bathroom but then Jordan approaches that girl and gets her number. Key approaches Jordan and tells him that that was the girl he was talking about. Jordan says her name is Chayanne and apologizes.

But then every time Key spots a girl Jordan magically appears next to her. He says the reporter on the television is hot and then Jordan appears inside the screen.


Key runs home and looks inside his magazines and sees Jordan inside the pictures next to every model.



He then sketches out a girl and then Jordan is magically sketched out next to it. he starts going crazy.



His girl walks in and he starts hugging her like crazy but then as he's hugging her he looks up and there's a mirror and when he sees the reflection, it's Jordan hugging his girl.




Standup


Jordan starts talking about how Key has no control over his dogs. Key says that he does. He has control over the little one and the "big one. He's just an asshole."



Jordan is allergic to dogs and gets pissed because most people put their dogs in the bathroom but when he goes to Key's house, the dog is like all over him and Key does nothing but keep yelling at the dog but the dog doesn't listen. They start re-enacting it and Key keeps telling the dog to get down.

Finally the dog leaves and Key says, "he leaves after the fifteenth time."

Jordan says, "That's just boredom."


Skit 3: White girls bury puppies


In this skit, they play two white women who stop and look at a puppy and just start saying all these freaky things they'd do to the puppy that is meant to be cute but really is masochistic. In the next scene, you see the two white girls covering up a hole they just dug with the puppy inside of it. As they walk through the woods, they pass by other burial sites they've created. Jordan says, "Remember this one. He was so cute."

Watch the skit from YouTube below:




Skit 4: Mouth fighting


This skit was one of the super awesome skits for any guy. These two blues musicians who make sounds with their mouths start fighting each other through sound effects just to see who makes the best sound effects. As they attack they make sounds effects. This one you just have to watch.



It's Bobby McFerrin who played the hit song, "Don't worry. Be happy." vs Michael Winslow.

In the skit, it's like Bobby is always second class to Michael. Everyone loves Michael more. Bobby sits in the changing room really angry and when Michael walks in, he starts making sound effects as he's taking off his makeup. Bobby goes crazy and they start fighting.

It gets really good when they start using umbrellas as swords and bananas as guns. Eventually Michael kills Bobby with his banana gun and makes sound effects of the ambulance come and frames Bobby putting his banana in his hand as if he killed himself.



Standup


Key and Peele start talking about how the worst place for a black man is at a party with all white people.

Key says, "It's just too much pressure to provide all of the fun." Mad funny.

Jordan starts talking about how he can't cross the dance floor because as soon as he does all the white people are like, "Go Jordan! Go Jordan! Go Jordan!"

Key talks about how he first realized this when one of his white friends at a party was waiting for him and as soon as he got there, the kid was like thanking him for finally getting there because "there was a bunch of white people waiting 45 mintes for the black guy to show up."




Skit 5: Black guy pushed into elections


Key & Peele poke fun at how the white government use black people to just push agendas on the common people. In the skit, two blue collared black guys are just walking down the block talking about how they hate taxes and suddenly this random white guy in a suit starts dragging him into running for president. They give him a gun and ask that he be their spokesperson.



The white people at the party say, "You're the chosen one we've been waiting for you."

They put a music on and start changing him into a suit.

"Whats your name?"

"Terrell Johnson"

Key is up at the podium and starts saying that they're all crazy, "y'all are just too creepy."

As he goes to give the gun back to them, he shoots himself.



"Great where are we gonna find another black guy"

Skit 6: Girl goes crazy from cell phone picture


You ever take a picture of a girl and when she sees it she goes crazy and doesn't you to keep the photo on your phone. In this skit, Jordan takes a picture of his girl while she's sleeping in the morning.

While his back is turned, she gets up and puts a gun with a silencer on it to his head and tells him to "delete the photo."



Jordan gets crazy nervous. He fumbles with the phone slowly and deletes it. Then she's in the kitchen and asks him all nicely, "How do you want your eggs?"

Super nervous, he responds, "Scrambled."


In their last standup they talk about how the hardest job must be a military recruiter because you have to look someone in the eye and tell them that their first job out of high school will be to get shot for the first time. LOL

Another awesome episode of Key & Peele.


Some cool things to look up from this episode:
Harlem renaissance
Toyota Prius
War Horse
Bobby McFerrin's Don't Worry be Happy

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