Here's the quick synopsis of the Season Finale of the Game of Thrones: Daenerys gets her dragons back. Robb marries Talisa. Tyrion is no longer hand and finds out Cersei tried to kill him. Greyjoys take Theon home against his will. Stannis reunites with Melisandre. A new zombie like king of Ygrittes's people emerges.
Game of Thrones opens up with an extreme close-up of Tyrion's eye. Pycelle patronizes him telling him he's no longer hand and gives him a coin for his trouble, something Tyrion did to him in a previous episode when Pycelle broke his word.
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Tyrion is laying in a bed with a bandage wrapped across his ace from the wound he got in battle of the Blackwater in the last episode.
Joffrey honors men from the battle
While Tyrion wakes up in bed and his left to rot, Joffrey gathered all the men from battle at the iron throne and is dishing out awards. He names his grandfather, Lord Tywin, the hand. And awards Peter Balish an entire castle which he can have forever.
It gets nutty when Loris, who was King Renlys gay lover and Margaerys sister, asks for Joffrey to marry Margaery which is a huge shocker.
At first we think it won't happen but when Cersei gives him the go ahead to put Sansa aside and Pycelle explains to him that the oath he took was before finding out how "bad" the Starks were, Joffrey accepts the offer. Joffrey will now marry Margaery from the House of Tyrelle.
Sansa thinks she's free but when she walks away smiling, Peter approaches her. He explains that she'll still be King Joffrey's mistress and this will give him an even bigger reason to abuse her. He promises to help her escape.
Varys wants to partner with the head prostitute of the House of Pleasure
We're not fully sure what Varys wants but he tries convincing the head prostitute from the House of Pleasure to partner with him in spying on Peter Balish. He tells her that Peter abuses her but he won't.
It's seems that Varys doesn't fully trust Peter and perhaps notices his playing both sides of the fence all the time.
Brienne approached by 3 men while guarding Jamie Lannister Tweet
While Brienne is walking with Jamie Lannister she sees 3 dead hung bodies and when she considers burying them, three men appear and are very curious about who she is including her prisoner. They start mocking her appearance and the fact that she's a women, but she tries ignoring them.
Brienne gets upset when she finds out that they only gave 2 of the dead bodies a quick death. When she asks them, one of the men reply, "Only two of them..."
As she walks away, one of the men says he recognizes the prisoner as Jamie Lannister. He tells them that she and him have to the count of 3 to give him a name. When they stutter, Brienne, draws her sword and almost instantly kills them all except the one who said he didn't give the dead bodies a quick death. She moves in closer to him while he lays on the floor and stabs him in the groin telling him "only two of them?"
Lady Stark tries convincing Robb to marry the Frey girl
She throws it in his face that he took an oath to marry the Frey girl and she says if he treats his oaths recklessly so will his people, which he responds, "The only parent I have left has no right to call me wreckless."
Stannis reunites with Melisandre
Stannis gets upset at the gods for his loss and Blair's Melisandre. He chokes her and asks her where are her gods now. As Melisandre loses breath she wimpers, "inside you."
He lets her go and she continues to tell him how much she believes in him and says that the war has just begun and will last a long time and he'll betray many people because, "you are the warrior of light, you will be king"
She tells him to look into the fire and asks him if he sees it. He looks in with deep meditation, pauses and then says that he does.
There's a lot going on here. When she said he'll betray we're not fully sure who since he really has no real friends at this point except Melisandre, unless he betrays her.
Theon says he'll kill Robb and talks to maester Luwin
Theon cries about being a prisoner of Robb for so long and how he felt going back home to his father. Maester tells him to run. He says he'll be seen as coward so then Luwin tells him to join the nightswatch. He says he won't make it to the wall.
"You're not the man you're pretending to be." Luwin.
"I've gone too far to pretend to be anything else." Theon.
Theon then tries rallying up his men to get ready to fight and die as they wait for Robb's men
Suddenly as Theon is getting really deep into his speech, his guard hits him on the head from behind knocking him unconscious. One of the men says, "I thought he'd never shut up."
Luwin comes by and the guard who knocked out Theon stabs Luwin and says "let's go home."
No we realize that not even Theon's own kind believe or trust in him. When he wakes up they'll probably lie to him as well about what really happened.
I feel bad for him in a way. It's like he just wanted to fight for something and stand up. While he's trying to stand with his own people against Robb, his own people hate him. Theon should've accepted the fact that Robb did care for him at one point more than his own family.
Varys tells Tyrion about Cersei's betrayal
Varys sits with Tyrion by his bed and tells him that Cersei tried to have him killed. It was her orders that made the guy slice his face until he was saved by the young man, Paul Drake.
Varys tells him that Joffrey will not honor him in any way and nothing in the history books will be written about him in this battle. It's really sad given the fact that he was the real reason why they won the war. This was a definite unexpected chain of events. He leaves and tells him that he probably can't see him for a while.
Varys's intentions are really unclear. We're not sure why he gives Tyrion so much secretive news while he stands behind the Lannisters.
When he leaves, Shae comes in and unveils his wound. When he nearly cries calling himself a monster and a dwarf, Shae tells him that they should leave Kings Landing behind. But Tyrion says that these "bad people" she's referring to is what he's good at.
Despite his refusal to leave with her, she says she'll stay with him whatever his decision is because she promised him "I'm yours and you are mine."
Robb and Talisa get married
Daenerys goes to the house of the undying to get her dragons back
She walks on the perimeters of the house but is suddenly transported inside the house. She screams Yyou think I'm afraid of your little magic tricks"
Jaqen finds Ayria and morphs into someone else Tweet
He wants to go away with her but she says she has to find her family so he says he has to leave but before he does he gives her a coin of "great value" and tells her:
"If the day comes when you must find me again, just give that coin to any man from Braavos, and say these words to him - Valar Morghulis."
Valar Morghulis is also the name of this episode. Many say Valar Morghulis means "All men must die," or "All men are mortal."
He tells her Jaqen is dead and then suddenly transforms into a new person and walks away. This was super freaky.
Luwin tells Osha to kill him
Osha, bran come out and see Winterfell burnt up. They see Luwin and he tells them to leave in case they came back. He tells them to go to the wall to Jon. He tells Osha to protect them even against her own kind. She says she has no love for her own kind and then he asks to kill him which she does.
Daenerys falls prey to black magic
Daenerys walks in the house of undying and finds her self suddenly by the wall. When she walks out into the open snow she sees a small house and enters. There she sees Drago holding what would've been her son and knows that she's under dark magic.
They talk about whether they're dead, or it's a dream or whether its real. He says whatever it is he will kill whoever tries walking him up. She then walks out and is transported back into the House of the undying right in front of her chained dragons. The guy of the house of the undying suddenly appears and chains her.
When she says the command, "Drakaris," her dragon spits fire and burns the guy up alive. The dragons then continue to spit fire at him, am awesome site. We can only imagine what this will look like when the dragons get big.
Kalis walks into a room with all her guards and finds Xora sleeping with his prostitute and he freaks out. She steals the key from his chest to open the chambers he spoke about but when they open it they find nothing and Jora says that "It's all a lie."
She says "thank you for teaching us this lesson," and leaves them inside the room with his whore while he pleads to help her again,
Even though they find nothing they take as much gold and jewels as they can find around the house to buy ships.
Ygritte brings Jon Sno to her people who live right behind the wall. She tells him that she's going to take him to her leader. We then see the two guys from the Nightswatch along its Samwell who are lost in the snow run away as they notice a huge army approaching from the distance. Samwell is left behind and hides behind a rock.
When he looks up, the new king who looks like a monster slash zombie appears on a horse. He looks super scary and when their eyes meet, Samwell just looks down.
The king marches on and we see hundreds of men including zombies marching behind him.